yellow.blue.yellow.green.blue.

So by this time next week I will have completed my first day at my internship at the Newport Beach Film Festival and the first day back to the BME office and I hope that by this time next week I will be asleep instead of being up here on the internets frantically jumping from page to page...because that's what I do it seems.

For most of this summer my TV has been on at this time on "Poker After Dark." I don't watch it though. It's just there. I do notice the players are always trying to psych each other out (duh, Cynthia). I would just be awful at that game, except that one time I played with hershey kisses and won somehow. Lady luck.

I'm semi-ready for this summer to be over already. I love being able to sleep whenever the hell I please without worrying (much) that I have to wake up early the next day. Though, that's getting harder since now I'm staying up even though I'm dead tired because my mind won't shut up. Just worrying about stuff, wondering how it's all going to work out. I realized I definately can't stay an extra year at UCI since fees will be higher and financial aid, if there is any, will be lower. I read an article in the LA Times today talking about how we'll most likely have a mid-year fee increase. I'm just sick of it. It really sucks that we get thrown into the real world whilst it's in the middle of a recession, but I am grateful that I'm not trying to get into college right now. I know for sure that the UC's are getting very selective and pricey, I don't know about the CSU's, but one would think so and the poor CC's...they're getting jam packed due to unemployment, underemployment and all those people getting rejected or having to drop out of UC's/CSU's.

But I won't despair. This is not forever. It will get better.

And I hope this summer of death doesn't morph into the fall of death (doesn't have the same ring to it, does it?). My heart aches whenever I think of those who have passed, one who I knew personally and the others who were high-profiled. I really hate it when people mock someone's death. One person specifically on Twitter really pissed me off. First, when Michael Jackson died he just put something along the lines of "That fucking wierdo had it coming hahaha." and when DJ Am died he put something like "Rip Dj Am?! LOL fucking idiot junkie had a second chance and pissed it away with drugs...hahahaha!" I was just so angry I didn't even have the patience to contact him personally. So now I'll just vent here:

Wow, really? These are two human beings who had serious problems and who DIED. Have some fucking respect. They were incredibly tragic deaths, how does an "LOL" fit into that? Do you know nothing about drug addiction? Did you know them or what they were going through? No.

The DJ Am is the one that really bothered me because it is well known (to me, anyway) that he had been clean for almost a decade and was very involved in getting others clean and that his "second chance" might be what did him in. His injuries required him to take prescription pain killers and anyone who knows anything about drug addiction-that is an extremely risky thing to do, especially if you're a former addict. Add the emotional trauma of the accident and there you have a dangerous mix.

Honestly, how dare you?

I'm done.

I think I'll go to ikea.com now.

SNOWBALL

Clark Gable is just too fucking charming. How is one man so goddamn mesmerizing?

School is almost here. Internship is almost here. Work is almost here. Shelter is almost here. Of course Daniel's show is the day before the craziness of this quarter begins. Daniel says he doesn't mind if I don't go but I'll feel antsy if I don't. I just hate that it's on a Sunday. I'll probably end up going, sleep be damned.

I really need to sit my mom down and show some Dog Whisperer, maybe then she'll try to get control of the dogs. She agrees to anything someone on the radio or television says.

OK. Time to hopefully go to sleep.